How she does it: Amanda Bardas
#HSDI is an interview series that focuses on working mothers – we talk motherhood, career, routine, self-care and daycare. We ask the things you actually want to know, like what they outsource, why they work, and how on earth they get out the door looking so put-together.
Our first guest is Amanda Bardas – she’s warm, witty and down-to-earth. Mandy is a new mother, one who has recently returned to work as the head of editorial for Val Morgan Digital after five and a half blissful months with her daughter Poppy. Amanda talks about her anxiety in the lead up to her return to work, shares the important roles their families play, as well as her out-the-door beauty routine, and the breast pump so discrete, she can even pump in meetings.
DD: Can you start by sharing a bit about your family dynamic – what roles do each of you take on that helps to keep the household functioning?
AB: My husband Jason and I live with our eight-month-old daughter Poppy, and two-year-old pup, Halloumi (AKA Loumi). We’re partners in every sense of the word. Every decision we make about Poppy – even down to what she eats and how she eats it – is a decision we make together.
Jason’s a high school teacher (art and music — the fun stuff!), so he finishes work a little earlier than I do and makes his way home to hang out with Poppy and kick off the evening routine.
I’d say we evenly share the domestic duties. Some weeks I do more, some weeks Jason does. But we run such a tight ship that somehow everything gets done with minimal effort. I say that we’re like robots when it comes to chores but it’s only because we both can’t relax until everything’s done, so that’s our motivation. If you follow An Organised Apartment on Instagram that is like us.
We both love to cook so we actually kind of fight over the pleasure of being the one to cook. Jason likes to meticulously plan meals and grocery shop online. Whereas I prefer to browse and throw whatever in the trolley and see what happens. Lately, we’ve been doing it my way.
DD: What does your job entail?
AB: I head up the editorial division at Val Morgan Digital. That means I set the overall strategy for our publishing brands (The Latch, POPSUGAR, Thrillist), work with our commercial team, and work closely with our MD to win new business and open new revenue streams. I do less creating these days than I used to but I get to use a different part of my brain. The business side. I’m in a role where I’m constantly learning, which is a fun and challenging place to be!
DD: How old was Poppy when you returned to work and how did you feel about the transition?
AB: Poppy was 5.5 months when I went back. In the weeks leading up to my return, I felt anxious, and it felt too soon. My little pal and I had never really spent that much time apart. I would do the Dream Feed at night and whisper to her that I was leaving her soon to return to work, and it wasn’t because I don’t love her, but it was so I could afford to pay the mortgage haha. Not sure how much she understood, but I’m hoping that when she grows up she appreciates how hard I worked to give her everything I possibly could.
I was really scared in the lead up to my return. I didn’t know if my brain would be able to still function. The good news is, it’s like riding a bike. To prepare, I made sure I had about a week’s worth of milk in the freezer (in hindsight this was unnecessary because I realised I can just pump at work and give her that the next day, but I wanted to be overprepared), all the supplies she’d need at Jason’s mum’s house (so I wouldn’t have to pack a bag on the days she goes there) and enough button-down shirts to make pumping at work easy.
In terms of Poppy, we moved her out of our bedroom at about 4.5 months and into her own (earlier than I would’ve liked) so we were settled into a routine when I went back to work. Continuing to breastfeed was a really important element for me in my return to work. I didn’t want one to cancel out the other. I had many restless night’s sleep thinking about how I’d make it work, but the Elvie pump has made it easy. I don’t have anything to compare it to, but it is incredible. It slots inside your bra and it’s completely silent so it means I can pump on the go and in meetings if I have to.
I also kept in contact with my boss and team throughout my mat leave and was upfront about what I needed (e.g. the space and freedom to pump with no question, flexibility in terms of hours and WFH) so I felt comforted that I’d be supported upon my return.
DD: Did you always envision you would be a working mother?
I always knew I’d be a working mum, but what I didn’t expect was the pull to be a stay-at-home-mum while I was on maternity leave. I really loved every single second of it. Even on the days when she was a little ratbag, I’d just put on Friends and think how lucky I was to be at home with my best friend and not really have to worry about anything else but feeding her. There were many nights when Jason would get home and I’d pull up a spreadsheet and see if we could afford to live off one salary. Turns out we couldn’t and I had to get used to the idea that a return to work was in my not-so-distant future.
DD: What does your career mean to you – why do you work?
AB: I work because I enjoy it. Creating business strategies, building teams, developing people and seeing them go on to succeed in other roles — it’s all very fulfilling.
I used to be focused on what was going on around me — what others were doing, and what I ‘should’ be achieving. But these days I’m more focused on the people I work with and the brands I’m building. And then going home at a reasonable hour and switching off.
DD: How do you work? Take us through your schedule.
I usually work 8:30am – 4:30pm so I can get home in time for dinner/bath/bed but my days and hours are flexible. I work from home once or twice a week, and then I’m in the office. Sometimes I have to jump on at night, or early morning for calls with our US team – but we just do what we have to, to make it work!
DD: How do you get into work mode and set boundaries around work and family?
AB: I’m not the best at this during the week but on the weekend, I don’t touch my laptop or email anymore. I used to work seven days a week, and back then it made sense for me to (well, I was able to rationalise it). I was setting up my career so I thought that is what I had to do. I feel more settled now, and I know that if I take two days off to re-set with my family, I’m going to be excited to wake up on Monday for work and I’ll be fresh and more effective.
I’ve heard people in the past say that working mums are super-efficient and I have to say, I’m shocked by how much I power through in a day now, so I can race home to my girl.
DD: What method of childcare have you opted for?
AB: At the moment (when we aren’t in lockdown) we juggle Poppy between family and then I work from home with her on Fridays. It works for now, but I know it’s not a solution forever. Jason does the drop-off/pick up so it means he’s sometimes in the car for almost three hours a day. We’re looking into Family Day Care or a Greek-speaking nanny for when she’s a little older. Now that we’re in lockdown it’s a different story! She’s with us 24/7 (but we wouldn’t have it any other way).
DD: What do you outsource to help make life a little easier?
AB: We’re so lucky to have a lot of help from our families. Jason’s mum minds Poppy twice a week so we can both work, and then on the other days my mum and aunty take turns to mind her. They both live a few minutes away too, so I often call on them for help at the last minute — usually to help with dinner if I’m running late from work! I’m from a Greek family that loves to cook, so they always have something on the stove or in the oven that they’re more than happy to drop off for us. I wouldn’t be able to work full time without help from our families.
We also shop for everything online and buy things (like washing powder, rice, chocolate) in bulk, and if there’s something on our personal to-do/admin list, I stop work and do it straight away otherwise it won’t get done. Work can wait, but adding the baby to our health care plan? More important.
DD: What is your go-to morning routine to get you out the door?
AB: The days I have to get Poppy and myself out the door are run like a military operation. Every minute is accounted for. I don’t know how people with more than one kid do it. I prepare as much as possible the night before – I pack her milk and snacks in a little cooler bag, pack my pump and lunch, and make sure my outfit is ironed. We put everything at the front door so it’s ready to go in the morning. Sometimes if I’m feeling extra anxious about the day ahead, I even put our bowls and spoons out ready for porridge the next morning to save myself an extra 7 seconds. Jason thinks this is serial killer behaviour (to which I respond with, ‘more like, cereal killer’).
Poppy’s on the boob the second she wakes up, then while she’s feeding, Jason’s downstairs getting a headstart — walking and feeding the dog, making himself a coffee, making breakfast, throwing on a load of washing. I get Poppy changed and ready, then I go for a run or do Pilates, get ready, and I’m out the door by 7:40. It’s chaos.
I guess I should admit my beauty routine is all about good skin so I don’t spend long on makeup. I only use Emma Lewisham products for morning and night, and because I am type A, I have them lined up in my beauty cupboard in the order I have to use them, so when my brain is functioning at 30% I don’t have to think. Once my skincare is done, I use Ultra Violette sunscreen (at the moment Supreme Screen), followed by It Cosmetics CC cream and Westman Atelier Baby Cheeks on cheeks, eyes and lips (I like products that can do more than one thing) and then fill in my brows. I’ve given up on mascara and just curl my lashes if I have time. I leave the house every day with sopping wet hair in a bulldog clip and it’s basically wet all day lol.
DD: Do you have any go-to brands or a formula for looking polished in a hurry.
AB: My work uniform has always revolved around jeans and I’m very specific in the way I shop, to make sure everything goes with everything. I drop links into the Notes section of my phone of things I like or make wishlists in the Net-a-Porter app and if there’s something I revisit a few times and know I can wear it with a bunch of things in my wardrobe, I’ll make the investment.
Right now it’s winter so I’m wearing blue Agolde jeans or black Uniqlo jeans, Bassike oversized knitted jumpers and singlets underneath, or LMND button-down shirts with a Max Mara coat and a good pair of boots. I always buy a good pair of boots every couple of seasons. This year it’s these.
My wardrobe is exploding after a decade of working in fashion, but really, I only wear jeans and a different assortment of tops. Even now in lockdown, I’m still in Agolde jeans (seriously they’re so comfy) and Bassike singlets (or this Yeezy T-shirt that I have worn on average three times a week since 2014). My key to looking polished in a hurry is to make sure my clothes are tailored to fit me, my shoes are nice and clean (makes such a difference) and my outfit is ironed. Simple but effective.
DD: Self-care and motherhood often don’t come hand-in-hand but it is so important. What self-care practices do you have in place? How do you ensure you take time out for yourself and how do you make this happen and how often?
AB: Exercise is without a doubt my most important form of ‘self-care’. I don’t get regular facials or anything fancy like that. I just sweat it out. I’ve practised Reformer and/or Mat Pilates 3-4 times a week for about 7 years (literally until the day before I gave birth!) and on the days I don’t, I run. So, the biggest hurdle has been figuring out where I can fit in exercise. Before we had Poppy we acknowledged that one of our priorities as a family is making sure I get the time to exercise each day, and I’m proud of us for making it work. It means we make sacrifices elsewhere so we can afford it.
There’s no secret to making it work, I just don’t make any excuses (omg I sound like a Nutri Grain ad). It means sometimes I’m doing Pilates at 9pm on the living room floor just so I can get it done. Jason laughs as he tries to watch TV past me.
My other forms of ‘self-care’ are regular long lunches with my best friend Kate, and we check in on FaceTime a few times a week until we can get to the weekend and see each other. It’s important for me to maintain my friendships. Big laughs at the end of the day. There’s nothing better and it makes me feel like ‘me’.
Interview by Jade Fox / Connect with @amandabardas